Stuff About Things

19 Sep 2010 1 Comment

by blissfuleater in Healthy eating, Nutrition, Organic foods, Weight loss

So many amazing things happened this week, in spite of my change of season cold!  In your face cold!  Many of my past blogs have focused on food and changes in eating, but equally important are the physical and mental changes that are taking place. 

 New and now:  I am sitting on my couch.  I know, generally not a good thing, but I am catching up on some work from being sick last week.  Anywho, I am also watching the Jackie Warner’s Thintervention on Bravo and it made me realize that I desperately miss the gym-for the right reasons!  Sherree and I had a big discussion a meeting or two ago about joining the gym and why I wanted to.  The issue was this-I used to work out six days a week for one and one-half hours a day not necessarily because I liked the workout, but because I liked the result-I was buff and super hot!  Sherree’s wise advice was this-if you want to work out because you like the workout, then great but if you are working out for the sole purpose of the result, then that isn’t the right reason.  I pondered on that for some time and recently-like today-came to the realization that working out was my therapy, my “me” time, and I desperately miss it.  For that reason-the right reason-I am going back.  I have an amazing gym near me that is reasonably priced, no contracts, and the monthly rate (less than $50/month) includes all special classes, including yoga.  I am so stoked that I am going this afternoon before I go pick up my little guy at his daddy’s house.  Throughout this wonderful (and sometimes scary-let’s be real here) process of inner reflection, I’ve come to have in the forefront of my mind what I’ve known all along-I DO NOT want my son to grow up to be a chubby monkey, to be ridiculed by other kids, and to have health issues from poor diet and lack of exercise.  As such, I need-no must-set an example for him and raise him to value healthy eating and physical activity.  Plus, I just want to be able to keep up with the little booger!  Holy mother! 

 This week:  I took my power back in a loving way.  Before I go into this section, I want to make something abundantly clear-I feel absolutely no ill will toward my ex-husband.  None at all!  We evolved into different people and I made the choice that I could not be with him anymore.  He tends to be very negative, dislikes people, and is grumpy much of the time.  Sadly, he also has a really hard time taking joy in life.   He loves our son dearly, and does a wonderful job when he is with him of keeping him active and making sure that our kiddo has a great time.  It is beyond important to me that he and I maintain a cooperative and supporting relationship for our son.  Okay, now to the goods.  One of the main reasons we are not still together is because I felt (and I told him) that he was a black hole of negativity sucking out my soul.  He has really made an effort at not being negative when we talk now, but every once in a while that true nature comes out, and that is okay because I have a choice as to whether I let that effect me.  This past week, his comment to me was that I was “getting really out there”.  He would not elaborate on what he meant by that, but I presume that it is about me embracing what some call new age/metaphysical beliefs.  These beliefs are nothing new to me.  They have called to me since childhood but I’ve suppressed them because main stream society doesn’t accept them.  At any rate, it is what it is my good people.  His next comment though, was mind-blowing.  He said, and I quote, “I don’t know what it is you are looking for in this life, but you aren’t going to find it.”  Huh?!  Even if that were true, what a negative thing to say!  He refused to comment any further, and I refused to spend any of my energy trying to figure out what he meant by that.  In the past, I would have obsessed on that for hours, but the bottom line is, I don’t care what he meant.  I know that I am a happy person, that I am evolving, and my life is becoming more incredible every day.  The beauty of this whole exchange was that I didn’t allow him to get in my head.  I was strong enough and comfortable enough with who I am to let it go.  I simply replied that negative comments like that were one of the reasons why he and I could not be together.  From a place of love, I said, “You are a grumpy, negative person and that is just who you are and that’s okay.”  He was speechless.  It was a really beautiful moment.    

 By the by, for those that are interested, I am reading this incredible book called Indigo Adults by Kabir Jaffe and Ritama Davidson.  I know I have said it a lot here lately, but this book is LIFE CHANGING for me!  For years, I’ve felt like an alien driving around in a Shelley car and this book just put all those feelings into perspective.  I am only half-way through the book, but here is a profound quote that I love:

 So your task is to learn the wonderful art of what they call in Zen “Wu Wei”: the art of doing without doing; working without working; being totally in your energy and totally relaxed.  That means trying to build a new world and seeing a future that is wonderful, and giving 100 percent of your energy to create it, and at the same time not being attached and being in acceptance of what is right now.  We are learning to accept and enjoy what is with all its limits and imperfections even while working to change it.   Indigo Adults, page 64   

 How beyond deep is that?  So amazing!  This book isn’t for everyone but for those that it touches, it will change your life.  I think I’ll leave you to reflect on that incredible quote. 

 Gratitude and love to all!
Shelley

FYI-”Stuff About Things” is a favorite email subject line between my sister and I.  LOVE YA DUDE!

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